precious moments

When the guilt kicked in.

         The last time I got sick, I was such a baby. Yes, literally. Ryan took care of all my needs. When I can't walk because of my back that hurt after working, Ryan carried me to the bathroom. He prepared my breakfast and lunches and called me every noon to make sure I was ok and of course the baby. I am so blessed. That is what I always tell myself. It went on for days. I can see the worries in his eyes. There were times when he would caught me home still in bed. He always go straight in the bedroom to see if we were ok. When I went to target to send in my resignation, I can't barely get up. I was on strict bedrest but I just needed to be done with Target. My co-workers were all over me when they saw me. Most of them actually stopped me from quitting. I went to see my HR and she agreed that I should not quit. So I went on my short term disability. I was home, I rested and felt better.

         After a month, I thought what  am I doing? Ryan still continued to take care of me and my needs. Even dinner, even if I knew I was feeling way better. One day, as I was laying down right next to him, I stared at his face and thought, what would my mama do in my situation. I was feeling better but here is my husband, still joggling work and home to accomodate my needs. Then the guilt kicked in. I told myself, I need to do something. The next day, I woke-up at 6:00 a.m. He asked me what I was doing. I told him that starting today, we will eat breakfast together and I will  make your lunches everyday. He smiled, said, " oh thank you Sweety and gave me a kiss. I remember him throwing up that day after breakfast. He said, he never had breakfast before. I have been doing this now for almost 4 months. I could not bare to see him, cooking dinner while I was just there. Although I have a perfectly good excuse but still, I felt bad. He even did all the laundry and the ironing. Things might change after having a baby but one thing is for sure, I am sharing my part as a stayed at home wife. Sometimes I imagine those husband who come home with just a home/house.  I guess this is one of the reasons why our husbands married a Filipina .

How do I look?

       I am not really good with pictures especially now that I have gained weight. Well, I have an excuse for gaining. I haven't posted a picture here since the last one with Evan.   I felt weird updating my blog. I have not updated this for a long time. It is not that I don't have time, I just don't have  much to say. I am home most  of the time and there is nothing  exciting to share. I really love staying home though and I make myself busy all the time. That is why I don't get bored. So here we go my preggy pictures.

What kept me busy?

       After I finish all my chores (washing clothes, cleaning, cooking, ironing). I sit down for an hour or two and do my cross stitch. I really have so much patience with this craft. Sometimes I would rather do my cross stitch than being in the internet. I have this new book that I got from Michaels. It was actually paintings of flowers and someone made a cross stitch pattern off it. I think it is really neat. Underneath is the finish product that my Nonong Tonette sent me for my birthday last November 2005. It is huge though and I love it. I am thinking of having it custom framed or I may have to do it myself just like the rest of the cross stitches that I did.

       This is what I am trying to finish for the past few days, from the book that I said. Can you tell what that is? I still have a lot of roses to do and leaves but to me, it look so pretty already. In case you can't tell what it is, it's a mailbox with 3 letters in it, overflowing with flowers.

How is the baby?

        The baby is getting big and kicked so hard sometimes. I am enjoying every moment of it. Ryan finally ripped off the entire carpet in his room. The carpet smelled bad (cat pee). I will post some pictures soon. As far as the things that we need, we really don't need much anymore. Thanks to Lanie and John, they gave us cabinets, a car seat, 2 strollers, bassinet, a rocking chair and a swing. We have 3 infant car seat for the 3 cars now. One from Lanie, one from someone and the hospital that I will deliver the baby with will give us another one. We are so blessed with the generousity with the people around us. I know that blessings will come there way as always.

        Lan, I will take a picture of the baby's room as soon as it is done but with Ryan working, I don't know how long. I want you to see how everything is in his room from the stuff that you gave us. Thank you once again.

        Till next time folks !

The year 2006

      Hi guys !!! I am glad that the Christmas season is over and it is now back to normal. I have never been invited to parties that much since I came here in the US 4 years ago. My problem was always what to wear. Especially the people that invited us are in the same circle of friends. It seems like the clothes that I bought a month ago wouldn't fit me anymore. With my size, I needed to buy maternity clothes because if I wear regular clothes and  buy 1 or 2 sizes higher, I would look like a "losyang". The only places that really grew is my stomach and my face. The rest amazingly stayed the same. Just imagine me wearing an XL pants with little legs and thighs? Not a good sight. Besides the clothes that Ryan picked are kinda cute. He also said we can keep it for next time.

     It seems like yesterday that we started 2006. It was beyond my wildest dream that I will be here in the US, married and happy. Ten years ago, I was only 18 years old, in second year college, trying to be a teacher and dreaming of what does the future has for me. It's funny and 2 years from now, Ryan and I will hit our big 30.

Christmas 2006

    We were invited by a friend for a party at her house. It was nice and we all had fun. The food was really good. What did I get for Christmas? To me I got a lot. First, I am carrying our son, so that is more than enough present for me. Ryan gave me a karaoke set, with 2 built-in microphones in it, that plays any CD/DVD/VCD etc. in it. Then he also got me a subscription of Netflix so that I can watch movies at home and would not be bored. Although I have been telling him that I am not. A pair of running shoes and my favorite, a Samsung Camera phone so that now I can talk to my friends. We used to have pre-paid but since he always checks on me every lunch time, it started getting expensive because we sometimes would buy 2 calling cards in a month. It is already one months worth if we have the network.  So we finally have the network now.

     I really did not get him much. He always give me a hard time every Christmas. Whenever I ask him what he wants, his reply is always , I don't need or want anything but I got him something anyway. I got him a pair of shoes, clothes, a pair of shades that looks so nice on him but his favorite was when I put a bow on my stomach for Christmas.

New Year

   We got invited for another party again. We stayed overnight there and it was fun. For us, Christmas and New Years were no fun at all before. When you work retail and all those bitchy, arrogant guest, it was enough to make your day. All we can think about was for the season to be over. It's sad but true. Retial workers don't enjoy their Christmas as much as other workers. Some of them even get counselling for depression after the holiday. I am glad Ryan got out of there in time and now doing something that is in line with his school. Me? I am glad I am somehow out of there too. Imagine, running around with a 6 month old belly. The guest? some of them don't care. This is Ryan's first Christmas and New Year in 6 years and mine my first in 3 years. Plus Ryan had 4 days off so we were all over the place. By the way, there is another party this Saturday. I told Ryan, we better hurry up with the house so that we can also invite people over.

Baby Names

    We have not decided what name to give our baby but one thing is for sure, Matthew had to be there. Ryan's grandpa is a Matthew, then Dad's middle name is a Matthew, Ryan's middle is another Matthew, so besides my maiden name as the baby's middle name, he needs to have a second name that is Matthew. I told him, if you want to keep the tradition going (the matthew), we also have a tradition of our own. He was fine with it.

    I have a list here of the top 100 names of 2006 which includes,

Evan - Geri's little baby

Caleb - Sara's little baby

Matthew Connor - Manang Banot's little baby among the 100.

    There are so many names. Any suggestions?

Baby Shower Update

    There is not much I can share. All I know is we were supposed to have it in our house but since we still have a lot of constructing to do, so my mother-in-law and father-in-law went to the church that we always frequent and asked if they can rent one of the hall there. Since we are parishioners, they granted her request and we can use it for free. I have given her list of names and addresses from work but she hasn't really updated me with anything yet.

    Guys I am feeling nervous and excited at the same time. So as Ryan. We will buy a video camera so that we can record all the baby showers etc. and atleast have a copy and send it to the Philippines. It is really getting close.

     Have a wonderful week ahead of you and thanks for reading.

The Jim Brickman Concert Review

    We gave it 5 stars . It was beautiful. It was very romantic and we held hands during the entire concert. Unfortunately, it was a big no no to take some pictures. Although there were some people who snapped their cameras. Pero I am a law abiding citizen, so I didn't even bother. That was indeed a beautiful birthday present.

     Yesterday, we finally had the time to get rid of Ryan's playstations, tv and games from the baby's room. We wanted to replace the carpet and have it thoroughly cleaned before the baby arrives. It was fun as Ryan was looking through the closet and tried to get rid of the stuff we didn't need. We really don't have that much storage because we don't have a basement and the garage doesn't have that much room. We were hoping to transfer them in the other bedroom. Now my next assignment is to arrange the spare drawers so that more papers and school supplies can go there and then we can use the extra room/closet for the stuff that we got from the baby's room. There isn't much. Mostly in boxes. It was Ryan's calculus books (also science books and some accounting books) and some ofour  wedding accessories. Three boxes of cards and letters that Ryan sent me when I was in the Philippines. He was reading some of them so loud and it was funny remembering them and two boxes of outdoor pre-lit Christmas trees that we decided not to put out this year. There is so much going on in the house right now. The bathroom being renovated and once we start the floor in the baby's room, the bed has to come out and it will be placed in the living room again just like the rest of the bathroom fixtures.

Bathroom in progress

                                                              

       

         

The bathroom renovation had been going on for I don't even know how long. Well, they did'nt really made out their minds until recently. For the past months, Ryan had been spackling (sp)  the holes that the previous owner made. Then, he painted and sanded it down until recently they have decided that the walls had to come down because the sanding and the spackling were not helping. The wall looked so beat up so they tore it apart. Ryan have thought of it before but it was still Dad's decision. They also realized that the walls were not well insulated for winter. No wonder it gets too cold in the bathroom when we take showers even if the heater is on. They also insulated it, Dad did the rewiring and Ryan bought some dry walls. They also got rid of the old bathtub and shower and just recently put up the new ones. I love it actually. Now I can take baths (well after we have the baby). Before, I can only lay there for 5 mins. and the water gets so cold right away.

      Anyways, Ryan asked me last night if I wanted the small tree up. I was excited for Christmas this year because we bought a big huge Christmas tree last year but when I saw the stuff that are in the living room I decided not to put it up this year. He asked if the small tree can go out so I gave in. We are not even done shopping yet. I got Ryan a couple of things onine and he got me stuff online too. We hope to find time this week or maybe next week to go shopping.

     Many people had asked me, even people at work,  if I am bored at home but one things for sure, I am enjoying/loving  my stay home... not bored at all !!! I will let you know if I ever will.

We Cheated

      Everytime I go to work to pick-up my check or even when we last went to the Baby Expo, the question that we usually come across are/were ,  "have you cheated yet?" or "are you going to cheat?". I never understood it before until one co-worker asked me if we are going to find out the gender of our baby. I told her that we are going to. We need to be ready of course and she cheerfully said, "cheaters".

      We were scheduled to go for another ultrasound last Saturday, that was my 2nd in a hospital because 3 prior ultrasounds were done in my doctor's clinic . I wasn't too happy because Ryan made the appoinment and he made it 6:45 a.m. His excuse was, he could not wait that long if we have to do it later that day and besides that was the weekend before my birthday. He wanted to do something else. I agreed although the thought of waking up so early wasn't making me happy.  Got up so early. Drunk plenty of water and off we go for the hospital in Indiana. We got lost because the direction given wasn't correct but we arrived there on time anyway. I got called in even before I sat down in the waiting room. I was so excited. I was torn between if it's a boy or a girl. Ryan wanted a boy so much while I really don't care much but if I were to choose I would like to have a boy. I grew up with 2 elder brothers who were my defenders to all the bullies in school. He also said, if it is a girl then he loves her the same. 

     After almost an hour of measuring , the technician asked me if I was with someone else. I told her that my husband is in the waiting room. Ryan came with a smile on his face. The technician commented how active our baby was that sometimes she can't get a good picture of the baby because of the way he/she moves. Now the time that we have been waiting for. For the first 10 mins. our  little pumpkin did not cooperate. He/she would not open his/her legs at all. The tech advised me to go to the bathroom to pee. I told her, I needed a time alone with our baby. We needed to talk . In the bathroom I rubbed my stomach and told him/ her how important it is to us to know his/her gender so that for daddy and mommy to prepare. I felt some kick and I knew we were ready. Went back in and preceeded. After 5 mins. of trying to see what it is. The baby finally split open his legs. Ryan said, I knew it, our first baby is a boy. He actually saw his ding dong first. I saw so much joy on his face. The technician took a picture of our baby's ding dong and Ryan had been looking at it for the past 4 days. He said, he will keep it and when our son turns 21, he will show it to him and say, " son this is the first picture of our ding dong". Forgive him, he is just too excited.  Called Lanie on our way home. She was so excited herself. Lan, will see you on Dec. 15 pohon. Now our job is to give him a name. We have not decided yet.

Ger and Judy remember this? This was from Ger's baby shower this year that Judy organized for her. I thought it was sooo cute that I asked Ger and Judy if I could have it. I placed it in the second bedroom, will probably transfer it in the baby's room.

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My birthday

     I love decorating the cards that I got from him from the past years. Although he thinks it is taking so much space on the table but I beg to differ.

Front: What did I ever do to deserve an amazing wife like you?

Inside: Happy Birthday with all my love.

Ryan's note inside:   Sweety Love,

                     I love you so much with all my heart and I am sorry if sometimes I disappoint you. I will always try to do better. I love you so much and I am happy that we are finally starting a family.

                                                                          yours, Baby Love

       Trust me cutie, I don't know how many times I have disappointed you.

       We did not do much for my birthday. Dine out, went shopping as I have mentioned above. Of course we stayed somewhere for 2 days in Indiana. It was a nice getaway. We have an upcoming event with Jim Brickman that was part of my birthday gift on December 10th. On my birthday too, we went and register at Target. So you can check that out if you are interested. I am just so happy  and contented that I really don't need or want anything this year. I got what I ask for. A wonderful husband and soon a son.

How organized are you?

    Drawer 

       The drawer above is just one of the many drawers that we have at home. Ryan carefully labels them. From my pay stub to his, utilities, cars, insurance, mortgages. All in one drawer neatly arranged. Don't get me wrong but I am not  as keen as Ryan when it comes to papers. You can even ask him one thing and he exactly knows where they are. Once a year he goes through the drawers and gets rid of those old papers that we do not need. He also (which I think is very smart) gave a copy of our house title to Dad in case the house burns down ( simbako lang).

      When I eat while watching tv, sometimes I forget wrappers by the side table. Sad to say, Ryan cleans it up after me. It is not that I intentionally left it there but he picks it up for me anyway. Even his CD's and DVD's are neatly arranged. From Starwars I-VI, Back to the Future I-III, Terminator I-III, all 3 Indiana Jones to his James Bond's movie collection. The nice thing about him is, the more I disarranged it, he doesn't get mad like other neat freaks. Bless his heart.

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     For education's sake

     Last Saturday after church we drove up to Michael's to get some threads that I needed for my cross stitch and on our way, we could not help to talk about where our child is going to go to school. Although our baby is still in the oven, you can't stop these excited parents to talk about where to put our baby to school. Ryan insisted on sending our child in a Catholic school. We even drove to one on our way home. I thought for what? He was a product of a public school. I was from a public school when I was in elementary and college and we turned out alright. He told me that he will show me something that will change my mind.

     I didn't know that the night before, he already did some research of his own. So when we got home, we went to the internet to check local schools. The unfornate thing here in the US is if you want to send your child in a public school you need to follow the district or to where your child should go even if you don't like it. Your  other option would also be to send the kid to a Catholic/private school. One school, middle school that our child is supposed to go is not doing too well. And the population is  85 % - 15 % . You do the math. In 4-5 years, it will be dominantly 100%. I really have nothing against the race but my husband had been around more than I do and I am not even going to argue. Catholic school there is. I even told him to start saving now because it will be a lot. He was just too cute though telling me that we only have 2 years before that baby starts school. I reminded him that I am still pregnant and and the  baby is not out yet . By the way, the high school?, it's 80% - 20% add to it the violence that we hear, here and there. I really liked our neighborhood but the district pretty much covered a big range of group.

     We are hoping to move out soon but if we won't be able to ( move really soon) because of Ryan's work, we have to work around what we only have. That is why he made sure that we plan it ahead of time. I got to tell you, I am so blessed with his man.

There goes my heart

       It's funny  how lazy I have become even to turn the computer on. I am so caught up with the cross stitch pattern that my brother sent me last year as my birthday gift. He made a wonderful choice and it is pretty. I am only on my 4th pattern and I still have 5 patterns to go.

Halloween

      Ryan was working late and I felt so lazy. It was so cold outside that the thought of bundling myself up, already made me tired. Plus the walking will surely kill my back again later that night so I chose to stay home. It was amazing not even 1 trick or treater went to our house. In fact I did not see anyone at all walking on the streets. I was a little happy because we only have a handful of candies to give. We can't wait for next year though.

Update with Papa

      Papa and mama's excitement were shortlived when they realized that the other camp made an appeal. This will be the last. What scares me is things can go the wrong way. Anything can happen because they have the money. All I can do is pray, pray and pray. Akala ko this will be a different  Christmas for them. Hindi pala.

My new pal

       Yes, that is my new pal for a month. It is a heart monitor. Two wires are hocked up in two different places of my body to get my heart rate. If I feel really strange, I just press the record button and it records everything in that little machine. Sometimes too, if there is weird/excessive pumping of the heart, the machine automatically records it. Then at the end of the day, if it gets full I call the 1800 number and send it to them through the phone. I think it is really neat.

     Last Wednesday, I called St. James Hospital for an appointment. I really wanted it to be late so that Ryan could come with me. I have to make 2 appointments. One for the 2D Echo ( heart ultrasound) and the heart monitor hock-up. The latest they have was 2:15 p.m. but Ryan would still be working then. So I asked them if they can schedule me real early. I went there Thursday morning, my appointment was 7:45 a.m. My suggestion to you. If you are pregnant and you want to have the heart ultrasound while your pregnant, forget it. It was very very painful. She can only see one side of my heart and could not get a good look on the other side because my organs she said are moving up because I am pregnant. She tried so many times, poking that thing on me. It was so painful because I am so sore already. After 25 mins. she gave up (Thank God) and said that the other half is good. The heart monitor hock up was a breeze.

    I chose to go to a heart specialist after complaining about the excessive pumping of my heart that sometimes I can hear it really loud. I asked my OB if it was normal. He said it was if I were 20 weeks pregnant but I was only 14 weeks then. He suggested another doctor if I wanted to make sure. Dr. G said that he had 3 Filipina patients before who had heart problems that they did not know of. One had to have her valve replaced. Good thing they figure it out early because the delivery can actually kill her. So when we heard it , I thought what the heck. Insurance pays for it anyway. I told Ryan, what if I am ok and he said, then let's be happy that you are ok. What if you are not? I just want to make sure Sweety. That was how the heart thing started.

Schaumburg Baby Expo

     Last Saturday Ryan and I went to the Renaissance Convention Center for the baby expo ( we only have 1 room left in the van). It was nice especially to the parents-to-be like us. There were a lot of samples, magazines and coupons. When we got home, we separated the 6 bags to 3.One for the things that the baby can use, the coupon bag and the magazine bag. It was fun. So many freebies.

The TRUTH will set Papa free.

      Exactly a day after my 27th birthday last year, I got a pm from mama telling me that Papa had been suspended. Worried and sad I called them that day with an open mind hoping that everything was just a mistake. Apparently, Papa had been suspended since November 23, 2005 but they chose to tell me after my birthday. Atleast I can celebrate it.

     To refresh your memory (since I cannot find the entry that I did last year). Papa had been working for his ex-employer for almost 13 years. He was their supervisor. He did everything for that job. The owner bought a condo in Cebu and Papa renovated it. Papa knows a lot of things. He is a plumber, electrician, foreman, carpenter, he can read and make blueprints. A perfect match for Resty. I know that they have been taking advantage of him. His day starts with 5:00 a.m. he jogs and around 6:00 a.m. he start picking up the workers and take them to their workstation. He also did payroll. He went to the bank every Friday and deposit/withdraw money. Sometimes he had $ 50,000.00 in his pocket but never was a time that it went short. From early morning, till evening we usually see him the earliest would be 8:00 p.m. Most of the time we are done eating dinner when he comes home. He loved and enjoyed what he did. He was happy until one person stabbed him in the back.

    This guy originally came from Manila. What I heard, he was so desperate because he has children and a mistress aside, so he needed to figure out how to make money  at other people's expense. He started stealing bronze metal from the company and selling them off the street. Papa didn't know that it has been going on for the past few months. Some people saw him did it. Treatened that he will lose his job, he called the main office and reported the stealing. They all thought  that Papa had been covering it up because it was never reported so they pinned the stealing to him. He was suspended because they said there will be an ongoing investigation. He was never asked or even invoved during the investigation process. He was already accused without a trial. The daughter of the owner called Papa and accused him, called him names and made him feel like a piece of junk. The last thing we know, they called Papa at home and asked  him to get all his stuff because he had been fired. Sadly, it was approaching Christmas.

    I called Papa almost everyday. I wanted him to tell me how he felt. I can feel so much sadness in his voice. He said, the job that he treasured so much is now gone. He decided to take the case to Labor. He got a lawyer from PAO (Public Attorney's Office) . The first court decision was to go for what the employer is up to give which was P16,000.00. He was having second thoughts because he said this case had made him have sleepless nights but we persuaded him to make an appeal. I paid for the P200.00 for the fee. I told him that I don't care if we don't get the money. The most important thing is we will prove to them that you did not do it.

Second Court Decision

    The letter came yesterday and as always Mama left me a pm. I called them this morning to hear the wonderful news. After almost one year,  justice was served. I talked to Papa today. I can feel how happy he was as he was reading the decisions of the court. His ex-employer where to follow the following:

a. pay back wages from November 2005 to September 2006 for the reason of illegally terminating Papa from his job. There was supposed to be someone who was willing to testify for Papa but he was sent to Davao instead and the court took note of it. 

b. pay his 13th month pay for 2005 and 13th month pay for 2006.

c. give him his job back.

     Not everything is certain yet because they can still appeal (last) because they can afford to hire a lawyer but if however they will lose this case, the back wages will keep on coming month after month after month. The job? he doesn't want it anymore.I felt he was given the justice that he deserved. God is watching over him.

My dear Papa during my ringhop

For the employer a little piece of mind for you.

1. THIS IS FOR HUMILIATING PAPA INFRONT OF HIS CO-WORKER AND ACCUSING HIM OF SOMETHING HE DID NOT DO.

2. FOR TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIM. PAYING HIM NO OVERTIME EVEN IF HE WORKED THOSE LONG HOURS.

3. FOR CALLING HIM NAMES AND LOWER HIS SELF-ESTEEM.

4.FOR FIRING HIM WITHOUT JUSTICE EVEN IF HE TRIED TO EXPLAIN.

5. MOST OF ALL,  FOR TAKING A JOB FROM A MAN WHO HAVE WORKED ALL HIS LIFE, FED AND SENT HIS CHILDREN TO SCHOOL.

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    I went to Target today to finalized my papers and picked up a card for Ryan. I wanted him to know how much I appreciate his hardwork and for juggling two jobs, school  and taking care of a bed bound wife . He is wonderful.

inside: I can't tell you how glad I am to have you to hold.

I love you.

I also wrote( just a part of it): Thank you for always being there for me and our baby. Please know that you are my love, my life and one of the reasons that I am trying to be better. I may not get flowers and material things for Sweetest day but having you and seeing your handsome face everyday, makes it all worth it.

     I huge smile and a kiss and a thank you were  what I got from him today. I love you cutie!

More than just a good news

A slight problem

           Two weeks ago, a newly found Filipina friend invited Ryan and I for a party in her house. I  met her through friendster and we clicked right away. She's been here less than a month when I first met her. She live 4 miles away from our house. Ryan and I were so excited because now we can just take turns in visiting each other. I met her husband prior on a dinner and Mommy Hope (her mother-in-law) as I call her in the party. It was a blast. Anyways, during the party I felt really weird. I felt so much pressure in my belly and I couldn't stand it. Mommy Hope advised me to just sit down. I have been to the bathroom so many times and everytime I wipe off there were blood. I was slightly spotting again. I called Ryan in the house. He was outside cutting grass as he only dropped me off to her house. He was so worried and asked me if I wanted to stay or if I want him to pick me up. I opted to stay. I don't remember how many times I went to the bathroom. I thought this was weird. I already pass the critical period which was 12 weeks. I was 14 weeks then.

         Luckily, the next day was our scheduled appointment with Dr. G. We were supposed to hear the heartbeat that day but I told him that I was spotting the previous day. He took us to the second room for another ultrasound. Ultrasounds are always fun because you can get to see the baby but that one was different. A little outside the baby where the placenta is, there  was a blood clot forming. About the size of the baby's head. We were scared. I was looking at the screen with tears in my eyes. Dr. G said, that the blood that doesn't come out while I am spotting,  forms a clot inside. If I don't stop lifting and bending over, the hard work, we can lose the baby because the clot will keep on growing and it will push the baby away and could die.

         After the doctor's visit, the next day I went to work to let them know that I will be taking off.  I then  scheduled myself for a complete pregnancy survey in a nearby hospital per the doctor's request. I was in complete bedrest that entire week. A jug of water right next to me, phone by my side and I only get up to go to the bathroom. I never think of it as boring not for one time. I kept telling myself that I am doing this for our little angel. Watched tv, did cross stitch, read, that was how  I kept myself busy.

Test Result

         We were crossing our fingers that the result this time will be ok. I have never seen Ryan so worried in my entire life. I have to tell you, this has brought us even closer than ever. He took care of me real good. He did all the laundry, ironed his clothes to work and fix dinner for both of us. Anyways, the result was really good. The clot shrunk it's size from the last time we saw it because I was completely in bedrest but it was still there. There is still a lot of chances for it to grow back.

Ryan always teased me with the baby's nose. He said, our baby's nose will look like mine. I see a little bump in the ultrasound pictures that we have and the baby is only 14 weeks. There is a lot of chances that his/her nose will grow. It doesn't matter anyway.

Stay at home mommy to be

          Let me tell you a little story about my papa which I already mentioned to Line before. Papa was working abroad when I was 5. He used to work in Libya. He left the country 3 times until all of the sudden he decided to stay home and look for a job locally. Some of his relatives wasn't too happy about it. Some neighbors thought my Papa was stupid. We could have save a lot of money and be rich. We just then recently purchased a piece of land to build our little house in.  His reason was, he doesn't want time will come that his children will not recognize him anymore. He said, he missed a lot from us growing and he doesn't want to miss some more. To me, the was the most wonderful decision he ever did. We don't want to be a stranger to him as well.

           In my case it is a little different. When we were in the doctor's office, seeing the baby kicked, had hiccups and waved his/her hand on us, Ryan said we needed to do something and I agree. I told him I would do anything in this case. I only have 2 classes away from graduating which I can always take on-line. When that time comes I do not need to go through the graduation process. In the elevator going down, we decided I should quit. Tuesday, that same week, I went to work and was ready to hand in my resignation. Some of the team members saw me and asked why can I just take a medical leave. I told them I just want to be down with it. Even our HR asked if I can just put myself on leave with pay. After more convincing, I gave in.

            I am a person with pride when it comes to work. When I first learned that I am pregnant. My friends at work warned me about the lifting and the bending over. They said, wait till your critical period is over then you should be ok. One lady even warned me about working too much. She said, retail is the worst company to work for when you are pregnant and I certainly agree with her. Lately, I have been feeling guilty because I have not kept my area, the way it is supposed to be. Keeping it up needs a lot of strength and I don't want to keep on calling everybody to come help me, although a lot of them volunteered in case I needed help. I did it myself anyway. On my third month, the way I worked changed. I thought I was ok now that I pass the critical period. I worked even harder to keep up. I got caught up but  my body just gave up on the 14th week. With work and school (mid-term week) coming together, it was too much for me to handle.

            Originally, I was going to take a year leave after we have the baby but this came so soon than we anticipated. Currently, I still have a job waiting for me but I know I will quit anytime soon, to be home with our baby. We are so happy that I took this decision. I learned to make the table ready for dinner when Ryan comes home from work. I learned a lot of things now that I am just home. Ryan's face light up whenever he sees me rather than waiting for me till 10:00 p.m. to come home from work. Rhebs  I will let you know the moment I start getting bored ( kay I will bug you to call me jud) but for now I am enjoying being home. I am not worried about finding a job soon. I'll find my way and if not, I will give up my career and take care of my husband and baby .

          Today is my 4th month, yehey . I am feeling great and very happy. My family back home have been really supportive. As my brother said, he need to see his "pikwik" (i really don't know what that word meant but he kept calling our baby that). We are planning to spend Christmas there one of these Christmas  in the Philippines. Anyways, in the end, Papa and I are not too different after all. Papa gave up everything for the sake of us and I will give up anything for the same of my family.

         Thank you for those who continually pray for me and my family. I felt so much blessing coming my way.

Don't you just...

hate it when ...

     ... you are driving home and there is a guy infront of you from another state who is going 30 mph instead of 45 mph and was sight seeing like he was not in a big highway? He was far way behind the car infront of him because he wants to take his sweet time. Grr...

hate it when ...

      ... someone is tailgating you because they thought you are the  one slowing everybody behind. If that person only knows that it is the person infront of you.

hate it when...

      ... someone cut you off because he/she missed a turn because he/she was not paying attention and was talking on his/her cellphone.

hate it when ...

     ... some people you thought your friend only remembers you when they need or want something. That is very annoying.

hate it when ...

     ... during the interview process, some of these candidates can be very eager and sometimes would even lie about certain things but once you hire them they start goofing around. Some are very lazy. Before 90 days, we fire them.

hate it when ...

     ... some mothers leave their baby crying and unattended in the cart while they are talking on the cellphone. I just one to tell one mother, if you don't want to take care of your baby, auction her on ebay .

Jeth hates it when ...

      ... showing up for an appointment at ur doctor's office 15 minutes early....and u ended up sitting in the lobby for 3 hours ? Jeth, this is the reason why we don't care if we are late on our appointment. We will be there for the rest of the day anyway hahaha. Thanks !

  I can't think of anything anymore but will post soon if I will. Is there something more you can add? 

The role of an Ate/Manang.

         Our role as a sister, furthermore a big sister never stops. Don't you agree? My sisters are like a babies to me. Although the three of us have 6-7 years age gap but we remain very close.

  Ging-ging, our youngest. Never a spoiled brat and always been a sweetheart. We all call her ga (as pinangga in Bisaya). She will turn 17 this September 29 and we are very happy and excited for her. Ryan had always been a fan of her. Although she is too shy to speak english but Ryan always hunts her down and start a conversation with her. She is always a fan of boy bands. 98 degrees, Backstreet boys and so on. She even thought that Ryan looks like Nick Carter of backstreet boys. Ryan giggled when I told him this.

        When mama first told us that we are going to have another sibling, we were furious. Manoy Gayfred was in college then, Nonong Tonette was in high school and I was in grade six. We hated mama. We did not understand why do we need another sibling for. Resty was the only one who was so excited. She was 6 years old when mama got pregnant. The 3 of us planned not to talk to mama. We were bad we know. Part of it was Manoy Gayfred was a little embarass because he was already in college and will have another sibling but me,  it was mostly because I know I will take care of her. Don't get me wrong, my parents are responsible people but I know I will have to give my share because Resty was still too young. Anyways, mama always tell us that once she will have the baby, we are not allowed to hold her and touch her because of how we were behaving. We said, fine... deal but when we saw her for the first time we just couldn't bare not to touch her. She was so adorable. I asked mama if I can name her after mine. She asked me what name do I have in  mind. I told her, Mary Grace and her nickname will be Ging-Ging. Like mine, Merydith and nickname In-in. She said yes.

        If I can only turn back time I should have not behave like that. We were immature and selfish then. She is the best sister one could ever have. Happy Birthday Ga and we miss you so much .

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       Resty on the other hand gave me almost a heart attact recently. The last time I chatted and exchanged ym's with her was the first week of September and we haven't heard anything from her. I freaked out. I asked mama if Resty did leave her a message and she said no. She was so worried too. Before I work everyday, I make sure to check my ym to see if she left me a message. Never did for the past 3 weeks. I prayed so hard. I am so worried of her moreso worried of me because I was getting too emotional. Ryan and mama kept telling me to take it easy because of the baby. Everytime I work I think of her. Hoping that she is ok. Although I am married and have a wonderful life here but I still can't deny that I still have a sister that I haven't heard for too long. I called mama so many times crying about her. I am worried sick and wanting to know what is going on.

        Then last Monday, I got tons of messages from her. She said she is ok just don't have the money to use the internet cafe. I felt so relieved. She said, she had everything budgeted and don't want to overspend or become short at the end of the month. I told her it was just that we were chatting and leaving messages 4 times a week and all of the sudden it stopped. I used to get messages from her and mama almost everyday and then never heard from her again.

       See... being a sister never stops. We might be so far from each other but  our love for each other is unmeasurable by distance. Here are more pictures of us three. I have treasured those days.